You have met a great guy and you are wondering where is it going? Does he feel the same way about me that I feel about him. Why does he seem distant at time? Its okay to have these feelings but 1st thing you must understand is do not share these insecurities with him. Men like strong confident women and the minute you start questioning him about where your relationship is going he more than likely is going to start back peddling.
Sure we all have these insecurities. Its important to learn to deal with these emotions and realize these insecurities are not your mans problem. Emotionally needy women are not attractive. Men seem to be able to sense this about a woman.
Some women think they have to do nice things for their man. They buy them gifts, call them more than they should, offer to help them with things like laundry, cook dinner for them and the list goes on and on. If a man wanted this in a woman he would go home to his mother.
Then there are the women who think they can talk themselves into a relationship and push the man to commit by telling their feelings. This is not a good move. You can't change a man's feelings with your words. Its your actions and sometimes lack of actions that can intrigue him and make him desire you more.
A key to keeping the emotional attraction going lies in you and your positive behavior. Have your own life. Understand that is is not how much you do for a man that keeps his interest at its peek. A strong, confident, self assured woman is beautiful in a man's eyes. A man likes a fun woman, not a nagging queen.
The old saying less is more is a very good rule to go by in a relationship you want to take to the next level. I should know. I am in a very healthy relationship with a wonderful man I actually met online. I am convinced I would not be here had I not read many a book on dating. For once I have finally gotten what I want out of a man.
Reasons He Won't Commit - What You Can Do to Change His ThinkingWhen it comes to commitment, men can be a mystery. Perhaps you have heard the words "I am just not ready". Men are human just like women. They do want a special woman they can spend their time with and its not that they don't want to commit. Often its just they have not found that special woman to commit to. The woman that makes him feel alive. The woman that can awaken the hunter instinct and challenge him. The woman that gets him.
Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. Now I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be an great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing.
Many women try hard to please a man. Perhaps you offer to help him out. Maybe you cook for him, buy him gifts, do his laundry, try to make his life easier. Maybe the more you do, the less he may seem to appreciate it. The bottom line here is if he wanted a cook and a maid, don't you think he should just go home to his mother? When he thinks of you, do you really want him envisioning you cooking, cleaning and being domesticated? No way! You want him to think of the exiting and sometimes unpredictable woman that you are. He is not going to commit to a woman who acts like his mother, face it. The domesticated activities should come long after you already have the commitment and not a day before.
The number one thing that will stop a man dead in his tracts on his road to commitment is if you attempt to convince him that you are the one for him. Often times a great relationship is extinguished far before it should be by a woman opening her mouth and voicing her feelings on the subject. This is not to say that you should not speak your feelings because you do have to be true to yourself. Its just that men don't want to hear how they should make a commitment. They want to reach this conclusion on their own and in their time. If you are talking about your future and your plans together he is going to run for the hills. Speak less about this issue with a man and you will get you more.
There are things you can do to change his thinking. Its not that you have to change the way you feel, you just have to change the way you react to him and alter your patterns a bit. Don't be so available every time he calls. If he usually calls at a certain time, say 7 or so be doing something. I have often answered the phone with "Hey, can I call you back later? I am at happy hour with the girls". A overnight trip with your girlfriends will do wonders. If he sends you a text I know you are dying to reply, but wait, try to make it an hour. He will spend that hour wondering what you are doing if you usually hit him back immediately. These are small things you can do that can make a big difference.
Now lets talk about how you react to certain things he does that may just nerve you a little. Lets take an example. Suppose he tells you on Monday that he and the boys are going to go fishing at the beach and leaving on Friday and be back Monday. Where does your mind go? Beach, partying, women, you know the drill. What do you want to do? Your heart just hit the floor. Don't do it! Encourage him to go, tell him great, you are sure you and your girlfriends will have a good time and you will see him when he gets back. Get off the phone and take a deep breath, don't let him see you sweat. The weekend gets here, don't call him or contact him, let him contact you. Stay busy and remind yourself of how this will play out long term. Chances are good if you stick to this plan he is going to wonder what you are up to. When your sailor does return from sea, he will probably be missing you and be on your doorstep shortly. So remember when he does something, providing it is not anything disrespectful, let him go, give him his freedom. You will be glad you did.
What this all means is to have a life of your own. Be a little unpredictable. Be happy and have a little mystery about you. Stimulate the hunter's desire in him. This will not happen if you are revolving your life around him. He will know it and not act accordingly. Its not always easy to do as we are nurtured to be care givers. Save the care giving for after you have the commitment and even then, never stop being the exiting, stimulating woman that won his heart.
Can I Get My Man Back? There is Hope!You broke up. You are miserable. You are playing the actual moment it happened over and over in you mind. What could I have said or done to stop this painful event? Rather than reliving exactly what caused the break up, it is much more effective to simply work on being able to bring him back and stop dwelling on the whys. You are not a Private Investigator here, you only interested in getting him back. Try not to deal with why the break up happened until the relationship is reestablished and your man feels comfortable sharing and exploring the feelings and reasons. More than likely you don't even know the reason it ended. You are wasting valuable time here, not to mention driving yourself crazy.
Often after a break up, we have the urge to communicate our feelings to our ex. We want to call, send emails, text or go to the extreme of showing up on their doorstep. These things don't work. Put aside what you want to do and what you think would make you feel better. These things just remind him of why he left you in the first place. They bring back the negative feelings. Men do not process all of this well and it creates more stress for them. It also decreases your value. It conveys desperation and neediness and these are not attractive qualities. The solution to dealing with men is far simpler than women make it out to be. Its not about what you can do, but more about what you don't do.
It is imperative that you create the idea that you are valuable. That mindset is a must. You are a wonderful woman who deserves her man back, but you want him to come to this conclusion on his own with no prodding or coaxing from you. You want him to see the value in you. If you are easy to obtain and he knows without a doubt that you are there for him if he wants you back, you will not seem valuable We desire that which we can't have and this is so true for a man. You have to put that doubt in his mind that perhaps you may not be there, perhaps you have moved on. To get your man back, he has to feel a loss.
The first thing to do to get your man back is nothing. Do not call him, you are going to wait for him to contact you. While there is no guarantee, nearly every man will initiate some form of contact within two months of a break up. It may be two weeks, it may be six. Don't panic and call him, it won't help and will probably guarantee you won't get back with him. If you call you are acting out of emotion and he will be overwhelmed and pull further away. You don't want him feeling emotions, you want him to miss you and to remember the good times. Don't remind him of the bad. You have no idea what he may be doing when you call and you will end up having your feelings hurt again. If he calls you first and you are calm and prepared you will be in control. To be in control is critical.
OK, he calls, now what. You are going to be cheerful, and you are going to smile. He will be able to here this in your voice. You are going to limit the conversation to 10 minutes and you are going to end the call first. You are not going to discuss the break up or anything about your past relationship. You are going to create a better conversation than the last one you had with him. The last conversation you have is the conversation that carries the weight in a man's mind. You are going to leave him wanting more. If you get serious with him, you will remind him of why he doesn't want to be with you. You don't want him to feel any pain because men will do almost anything to avoid emotional pain.
Don't give him any emotional details of your life. Don't talk about the past. He called because he misses you,. Now that doesn't mean he misses you as much as you would like him to or enough to get back together. He is calling because he used to know more about you and your life and now that's gone, something is missing. Don't take that away yet. Too many details and his curiosity is gone and his hunger that he felt to know about your life has been satisfied with that one phone call and you want another one. You want his imagination to fill in the gaps. If you stick to this plan and I know it is so hard, he will more than likely call back.
If you have mastered this first call and the other calls start to follow, now what. You don't slip back into the old pattern you were in before the break up. You let him move at his pace, don't call him for any reason. Let these first few phone calls be like the first one. Let him feel comfortable and sure that you are not going to get emotional. You want him to know that when he calls you are going to listen. Men find it very sexy to have a woman listen to him. You have to live by this rule.
After your relationship is rekindled, you are going to continue to be expensive. You are not going to let him take you for granted. Men will respond to your actions before they will to your words. If he takes you for granted, give him the distance he deserves for daring to do so. Remember, you are expensive and valuable. This attitude is critical to get your man back.
Learn the attitudes and steps it takes to get your man back. Men often move on to another woman quickly after a break up. Don't go through the heart ache of seeing him with another woman
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